


It Takes Everything

by AnsBanans



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood Play, Canon Related, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylos Ren's Apprentice, Obsessive Kylo Ren, POV Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader likes the dark side, Reader uses the force, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, The Force, This is not a redemption story., Violence, We love Bad Boy Kylo Ren, Who doesn't like the dark side?, Who is the sub?, alpha reader, it's in the details
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27946643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnsBanans/pseuds/AnsBanans
Summary: I would first off like to say that my story has been highly influenced by multiple stories I have read through this website. I would like to personally say thank you to both @Kassanovella as well as @Lunaxxx. Your stories have inspired me so much.This is my first fanfiction ever and I will start by saying this will not be purely cannon. There are characters that exist in this story that are purely invented from my imagination as well as characters that are involved in the real universe that is Star Wars. While I have strived to remain loyal to the feel of Star Wars and loyal to the world, I have tried to create my own story.I really hope you all like this story and a peek inside my twisted mind.. Of course, feedback is welcomed, but at the same time, I want this to flow the way I see best.I don’t have a plan as far as updates go. However, I am really inspired at the current time and will upload as long as the story flows, so hopefully, they will be consistent.Here we go...
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 3





	It Takes Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This is an introduction chapter.. I have set your character as a female, but you are more than welcome to impose what you would like onto them. It starts off heavy-handed, but I wanted the ball to start rolling right away. 
> 
> This chapter is 6,925 words.. I am pretty obsessed with long chapters and I feel this is still a bit too short.
> 
> y/n = reader inserts their name. 
> 
> Warning: Violence, Blood

You lay completely still, staring at the ceiling above. The lights penetrating your vision as though you were seeing light for the first time. Your breathing was heavy and strained. You tried moving your head so you could look around, but the slightest movement sent pain shooting through your body. Your eyes lifted to look at the display screen in the med room, you could see your vitals and you were honestly shocked you had even survived. The pain coming and going in waves forced you to squeeze your eyes shut. You winced at the thought of knowing what this injury would cost you.

Most people would be relieved at knowing they get time off from the rigorous work demanded of them. But you? The thought of sitting out of work worried you. There were many conflicts within your mind that often needed to be suppressed, and you had discovered both mentally and physically exhausting labor often did the trick.

You tried to settle into the hard bed, but as your eyes closed, your mind became flooded with the memory of what put you here.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------  
My unit and our Commander were heading back to the Finalizer after a covert mission on a small resistance base just outside the galaxy. We had just been informed that General Hux had received word that there were resistant allies on planet Umbara sabotaging the efforts of the First Order, and since the planet was on the route home, it only made sense to get it over with.

It was supposed to be an easy mission. “quick run-through” as Commander Maxir put it. “Just go in and insight some fear into those ridiculous resistance supporters and return! General Hux will not be pleased by wasted effort.” Maxir sighed, he was no fan of General Hux. “Just keep your shit together out there. I want to be in and out of there as fast as possible.”

Your blood was pumping, these raids excited you because deep down you enjoyed the fight. Your loyalty had always been with the First Order. You hated the resistance and found their muddled interpretation of them being pure and good, distorted. It was the drive for justification and the bloodlust that got you the rank of being within the Elite forces of the First Order.

The mission was running smoothly and at this rate, it would be an easy, yet forceful display of power by the First Order. You were nearing the end of the mission when you sensed it. Something was telling you to turn around and double-check your steps. You paused and tried to block out the overwhelming feeling that lingered in your mind. _“You are almost through. Don’t do this now.”_ You rubbed your forehead and refocused your eyes ahead. This feeling wasn’t unfamiliar to you, you often fought hard to suppress it most of your life. You let out a soft groan, trying to remain silent, but the feeling was prominent... These moments of tension had gotten stronger as you started working on the Finalizer and you couldn’t help but admit that it impacted your work.

As you began to gain control once more, you noticed your comrades were completely out of view except for Ezriel. You shuddered as you tried to continue forward, but it was there holding on, its grip deep. Giving in to the feeling, you slowly turned around and faced the fog. A blunt hit to your skull sent you backward.

“Fuck.” Was all that came to your mind. You lost sight for a quick moment and stumbled backward landing on your back You knew this was bad, by now your comrades were further ahead, Ezriel included, and you knew whatever attacked you had the upper hand. Your adrenaline started to take over and began to numb your senses. As you tried regaining your composure your hands fiddled for your gun. Once you found the gun you weren’t really sure what you could do. You were aware your vision was distorted by both the blunt trauma from the weapon and the dense fog surrounding you.

Everything was covered in fog and you could feel the blood dripping down from the gash on the side of your skull. The fog was growing thicker around you if that was even possible. “Ezriel!” You tried to yell over the feeling that crept within you. You saw whatever it was moving in your peripheral vision and instantly tried to turn and shoot, but your gun was knocked from your hand. There they were standing over you. You tried once again, desperately yelling out, “Ezriel!” You were trying to slide away on the bottom of your palms. You saw them watching you as you tried to turn over to rise on your feet, but there it was again. You felt the blunt hit of the weapon hit the back of your head and you fell face down.

You weren’t fully conscious anymore and you knew it wouldn’t be long ‘til you lost control fully. You tried to focus and keep steady. You still weren’t sure where Ezriel was nor who or what was attacking you. Logistically you knew it would be a native resistance fighter, as they would know this area best and how to use the fog to their benefit.

As you tried to push yourself away, you heard them spit through their teeth, “You disgusting, First Order cunt.” You barely heard the footsteps grow closer as you tried to focus your eyes above the ground, the realization was setting in that you might not make it out of this mission. The woman’s voice was raspy and undistinguishable, you felt a hand grab the back of your head pulling the bloody hair on your scalp back so that your neck raised up. The pain was sharp and intense, you could feel yourself on the verge of going unconscious. As she pulled your head back you let out a defeated whimper. “Listen to you... you are pathetic.” She whispered by your ear. You heard a knife being extracted and the next moment you felt the cold steel against your throat. The blade began breaking into the skin until your head fell back to the soil.

You released a shattered breath and rolled over. You saw the lifeless body of the resistance fighter beside you, and as you lay on the soil you felt your eyes growing heavy. Your body began to regulate your adrenaline and you could slowly start to feel the deep sensation of utter agony within your head.

You heard a familiar voice call out your name, “Are you okay!?” you felt a hand cradle your head. You slowly opened your eyes to see Ezriel crouched above you. His breath was panicked, and you could barely make him out. You could feel the fear radiating from his person.

“Fuck.. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” Yelling and exasperated he started fiddling with the com on his arm. You knew he was trying to gain contact with Commander Maxir. Your head rested within his grasp as you drifted in and out of consciousness. You could barely make out the noise coming from him, “She’s badly injured... blood... resistance ally... I couldn’t see... on my way to her!” You assumed the nurse took over the voice com as you felt him check your pulse. As you lay there with your eyes shut once more, you knew the pulse he searched for barely existed within your body. You could feel how subtle it echoed within your limp body; you knew you were slipping. There was nothing, but his voice.

He placed your head back on the ground and you tried to open your eyes once again. As his hands left your head you felt fear rise within you. _“Don’t leave... I am alive. I am still here”_ These were the words you wanted to say, but nothing came out. Your lips even refused to move. What you could make out of the sky above was now spinning and your head was starting to throb at this point. “She’s losing a lot of blood!” You heard his panicked voice again.

 _“He’s still here...”_ you thought to yourself as you tried to remain calm. You heard him tear something. Suddenly his hand cradled your head once more this time a deeper pressure applied.  
He finally spoke directly to you, “You’re going to be okay.” You could still hear the fear in his voice. Your name escaped his lips “I need you to look at me. Fucking look at me!” You were trying your hardest to keep your eyes open. For fucks sake you wanted to keep them open! You wanted to live, but there wasn’t much left inside of you. Desperation radiated in his voice, your head was shaking when he would speak, “Help is coming. I just need you to hold on! If you die on me in this fucking forest...” His voice drifted off.

He placed your head back down. You could smell metal and you knew it was from the blood. Another tear of cloth and his hands were once again on the back of your head. “I know I have been distant lately, but you can’t leave me here.” You felt it... a tear fell on your cheek. You could hear his voice starting to break.

As you started to drift off you heard several footsteps approach, but you couldn’t remain conscious any longer, you just wanted to drift, and that you did.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------

You jumped as the door to your room flew open. Ezriel stood there looking tired as if he had not slept for hours. He walked slowly towards you and you could see the small bouquet of flowers in his hand. You assumed he collected them after your attack as there was no soil or plant life of that kind on the Finalizer.

“They said you were allowed to have visitors now, and I have been trying to be the first in line. However, you have a good amount of people who are worried sick.” A tiny smile spread over his face, he reached his hand out and he placed it on top of yours. You looked down noticed you had acquired a good number of cuts and bruises from your mission. You gazed at his hand as it lay on top of yours...

“I am so sorry I wasn’t there. I got caught up and I was supposed to have your back!” He sounded genuinely frustrated and you could tell he was regretful. “I know things have been off ever since...” He hesitated and looked down. “Well, you know.” He looked back up at you, so he was looking directly into your eyes, “I just needed space and time to myself to understand where I was mentally.”

There was no sense in trying to hide your attraction to Ezriel. Which is why a few weeks before your mission you told him exactly that. You two had always been close, but never closer than friends. He was very handsome and there was a certain charm about him that made women fall fast, but he never led on to anything other than friendship with you.

You let a smile spread across your lips. Your voice was strained and quiet, “You came back and that is what matters. You saved my life... If it weren’t for you Ezri-” He cut you off. You could feel the emotion starting to pour out in your words.

“Shh.. don’t get worked up.” He withdrew his hand and leaned back in his chair. A smirk sat on his lips. “I thought I was going to lose you. Do you know how awful that would be?” You felt yourself starting to blush. “Who would I torture during the day? What would my life be like without your daily grouch sessions over General Hux’s and Commander Ren’s ridiculous orders?” He let out a soft laugh.

Your eyes shot up as you knew that word of your attack had probably gotten back to both Hux and Commander Ren at this point. You propped yourself up in your bed so that you could look directly at him, “What happened after I was transported here? Was the mission a success? What was said about the attack?” Questions were starting to flow out of you as you realized you had been unconscious for some time and you were highly uninformed of what had occurred after.

“Slow down.” His soft voice reaching out again, “After I found you, I called for help immediately. I only turned around because we had completed the mission. So yes, the mission was a success.” You flinched at the thought of him ONLY turning around because the mission was completed. Were you really that expendable to him, did no one actually notice you were missing?

“It was after we secured the area that we had noticed you went missing.” This shocked you, but apart of you knew the focus was always on securing and finalizing the mission, so what did you expect? “I volunteered to go scout for you and when I was walking back that’s when I heard you. I ran to you and saw her holding the knife to your throat and panicked. I was sure she was going to end it all for you right there, but I was fast and got a good shot.” He winked and it stirred some resentment within you, his nonchalant “good shot” statement made you cringe. You weren’t sure why this made you feel this way. However, you knew he was only trying to lighten your mood because after all, you were alive.

You shook your head lightly to wave away the thought and the emotions surrounding it, “Was anyone informed about my attack?” Your heart started to race at the fear of disappointing your superiors. No matter how much the orders of General Hux and Commander Ren irritated you, you wanted to do right by the First Order.

Ezriel let out a deep sigh, “Yeah... about that. As soon as I sent word that you had been attacked Commander Maxir started to question what the fuck was happening. On the ship he lectured us about our skills and how could something like this happen. He was bitching about how we were supposed to be the “best of the best” and how mindless it was that you wandered off.”

You scoffed, “Why the fuck would you send “elite soldiers” to do an intimidation raid anyway? I could have stayed my ass here and helped with larger-scale missions.”

Ezriel squirmed uncomfortably, “And that assumption there is why General Hux and Commander Ren want a meeting with our unit.”

Rage filled your body, “Are you fucking kidding me! Nothing like this ever happens! How could they doubt our unit!? It was a one-time thing! We work well together, and we maintain a tight regime.” You heard a beeping within the room, you looked up at your vitals and noticed your heart rate had increased which would consequently alert the nurses outside. You huffed...

“You did almost die... Something isn’t right here, and I think it should be reviewed.” He dropped his gaze, “You have been off lately, and I am concerned. It isn’t good when we are having weak links within the unit.” Your eyes shot back at him and his face went pale. He instantly tried to withdraw his statement. “I did not mean that! Please don’t look at me like that! I only meant weak links in terms of not being on the same page, at all times, during the mission... Come on, y/n... You know I didn’t mean that.”

You could feel yourself shaking. What was his game here? He wanted to come in and soothe you, check up on you, but also make you feel like shit for almost dying?

At the moment you were going to speak the nurse came in. “Is everything okay in here?” A soft voice came from the woman. She slowly approached your bedside and started looking over your vitals.

“Yes.” You said sternly, “everything is fine. Just catching up is all.” Hiding your frustration was not easy and there was no point in even trying.

The nurse didn’t care though, she looked at Ezriel, “I think it is best we let her get some rest.” She looked back at you warmly, “You have been through a lot and you need to gain your strength. Too much stimuli isn’t good for recovery.”

You dropped your eyes and could feel your rage turning into sadness. You didn’t enjoy feeling weak and you never wanted to let your team down, but you knew you had.

Ezriel rose from the chair and looked down at you, “I didn’t mean it.” He caressed your hand once more before turning and walking towards the door. As he was about to exit, he turned around and looked at you with sincere eyes, “Thank you for not dying on me out there.”

The door shut behind him and you let your head drop back down on the pillow. The pain rang through your skull at the impact. You stared at the ceiling and felt tears well up in your eyes. They slowly rolled down your cheeks and burned the skin underneath them. You couldn’t control the emotion spilling out of you as you began to sob. Your chest convulsing as deep breaths and groans escaped your lips. It was the first time the realization of how close to death you were hit you. You not only let your team down, but you let yourself down. You were not only weak in the eyes of Hux and Kylo Ren, and your unit, but you were weak in the eyes of the resistance fighter. You were helpless and weak and if it weren’t for someone else, you would be dead.

“Honey, are you okay?” A soft touch landed on your shoulder. You jumped at the sensation and your breath caught in your throat. You had completely forgotten the nurse was still in the room.

You rolled your eyes as you now looking weak in front of the fucking nurse, “I’m alive, aren’t I?” it was unnecessarily harsh, but you didn’t want pity from anyone at this moment.

The nurse didn’t respond, and after she finished documenting your vitals and readjusting your fluids she headed towards the door. Before she exited the room, you called out, “How long have I been here anyway?”

The nurse sarcastically laughed and turned towards you, “You were unconscious for four days.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked down at your hands that lay on your stomach. “Thank you”, you answered softly, embarrassed at the way you reacted to someone who fought for your life and made sure you were stable.

The nurse said nothing, but simply turned away and exited the room.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------

A week had passed since the attack and you were finally able to leave the med bay and return to your quarters. You pressed in the code and the door flew open revealing a dank and dusty room. You let out a sigh of relief as you sat down on your own bed. The room was small. It contained a bed and a simple writing desk. You stood up and examined the contents on the desk. Nothing but copies of old texts procured from lessons during your training.

You moved your gaze towards the back of your room and headed over to the wardrobe. You grabbed a clean pair of black underwear along with a black sports bra and your grey sweats. You needed a shower and was quite excited to finally put your own clothes on again. You had been in a hospital gown for a week and now had on the exact outfit you were in during the mission, thankfully it had been washed. You grabbed a towel and your shower accessories and headed towards the common showers on your floor. It was around noon and you expected them to be empty as everyone else normally works or at least takes showers during the morning or late-night hours.

As you walked in it was quiet. You were alone, you undressed and stood in front of the mirror staring at yourself. You crept towards the mirror to get a closer look, you let your eyes fall upon your hair. It was deep brown almost black in color. It was long and hung almost to your waist. As you stood there you stared at how your long thick hair covered your small chest. You let your eyes trail down your body and noticed the bruises and cuts that injured your flesh. You weren’t overly thin, but you were comfortable in your skin. This was a woman’s body, all of it, and that was all you could ask for from yourself.

You were turning away from the mirror when you caught a glimpse of the scar on your throat. You leaned in and traced the indentation. It wasn’t a deep scar, but there was a noticeably small line from where the knife broke the skin. “A constant reminder...” you said aloud to yourself and sighed.

You let the hot water cover your body entirely and you felt yourself relax for the first time since your attack. You tried washing your hair even though your scalp was still sore, making sure to clean the area but to not overwork it. And as you washed the soap from your hair you watched as the water turned light red, signifying the small wipe down showers the hospital gave did not truly extract all the blood left over from the attack. As you completed your shower and finished washing your body you thought about just sitting in the shower and letting the water trickle down you for a while longer, however, you needed sustenance. You grabbed your towel and brushed your long hair out. You slid on your underwear, then your sweats, and laced up your tennis shoes.

By the time you put your towel back in your room, your long dark brown hair was almost dry, but you couldn’t wait anymore to look “decent”. You headed towards the cafeteria knowing the time lined up perfectly for Ezriel’s lunch break. As you entered the cafeteria you looked around and finally found him. He wasn’t alone though. One of your colleagues from another unit, Corria, was sitting with him.

You grabbed the daily special which was a broth-based soup with vegetables and some bread and proceeded to make your way over to them.

“Mind if I sit here?”, you half-jokingly asked, you weren’t sure if you were intruding.

Ezriel looked up from Corria, “Look who it is... Finally, out of the med bay.” Smugly, he pointed to the seat across him, “Please sit.” His soft smile drew you in and you could already feel the emotions stirring up inside of you once more. _“Here we go again.”_ Lucky for you, there were no machines to give away the pace of your heart this time.

You placed your tray down and sat, “Corria, I heard your unit is going out soon for a scouting mission on Castilon. Looking forward to it?” You took a bite and looked up at her.

“Yes, it will be my first time leading our unit. I was promoted last week.” She blushed and averted her gaze down to her food. At that moment, you realized you had never seen her convey any sense of emotion before. “I am nervous I won’t lead correctly, or I will make a fatal mistake. I don’t want to let the unit down. Nor do I want to let Commander Ren down.” She looked over and made eye contact with Ezriel in a way that signified she wanted reassurance.

He softly smiled at her, “You will do great. I am sure of it. There is no doubt. Right, y/n?” He looked over at you.

You readjusted your gaze as you noticed you were staring at her while she was staring at him, “Uh.. yeah.. totally.” You took another bite, “You will do the First Order proud, no doubt about that. And if anything goes wrong it can’t be worse than what I did.” You laughed at yourself and noticed it brought an awkward still to the conversation. You cleared your throat and set your spoon down. There was the feeling again, the same one creeping up the day of the attack. You looked around and took note of what was going on... nothing was out of the ordinary. It was growing stronger, and you weren’t sure why. You closed your eyes and tried to suppress the feeling. When it wasn’t working you opened your eyes again and started to speak in order to distract yourself, “And listen don’t worry about Commander Ren. I imagine he is just a sad little boy under that mask. I honestly can’t imagine anyone making him remotely “proud”. We’re all just fucking pawns, it only matters how you view your performance.”

It seemed that all they could do was stare at you. You had definitely set a certain tone to the mood.

Finally, Ezriel spoke, “While you have a point,” he shot eyes at you, “It is smart to be mindful of your performance in Commander Ren’s eyes as well as General Hux’s.”

You shot them a half-smile, “yeah of course”, you said in forced agreeance.

You sat there a bit longer listening to the small talk and joining in occasionally catching up on the missions going on and what had been done throughout other units while you were recovering. You watched as Corria and Ezriel interreacted trying not to let on any discomfort. He wasn’t yours, never had been yours, but that didn’t stop the ping of jealousy that arose in you when others would flirt with him. Anyway, he knew at this point how you felt towards him, although that didn’t seem to change much of his behavior towards you.

Lunch was ending soon for them and as your conversation was wrapping up you noticed the sensation within your mind was overwhelming and you could not resist it any longer. You dismissed yourself from the table and practically ran out of the cafeteria. Once outside you grabbed the sides of your head and clenched your eyes shut. You tried so hard to suppress the torture, but nothing worked. You decided to head to your room, figuring you had overstimulated yourself and thought that a quiet place where you could rest would help.

As you opened your eyes you started down the hall. You got to the elevator, but your head felt close to exploding. You placed your hands on the elevator doors and propped yourself up. “hurry the fuck up...” you whispered under your breath as you waited for the elevator to arrive. In an instance, the pain consumed you almost bringing you to your knees, as you were slipping the doors opened and you lost your grip. You fell to your knees, and as you fell your hand landed on someone’s shoe. “Fuck!” You shouted.

That’s when you heard it, “On your feet.” A deep growl emanated from behind a black and silver mask. There was no confusing the voice.

Your heart dropped and no matter the pain you were experiencing at that moment, you weren’t going to disobey Commander Ren. As you stood your heart began to race.

“Raise your head and look at me.” The deep mechanical voice ordered.

You took a deep breath, wiped your eyes, and looked up. He was so close to you. Barely inches away. As you raised your gaze you realized how he towered over you and how small he made you feel. You kept your breath shallow and struggled to not clench your eyes shut at the pain you were experiencing. You struggled to get the words out, “I - - I am so - Uh - so sorry, Commander Ren.” You squeezed your hand.

“Silence.” The force hit you like a wave and you stopped abruptly. “What is your name?”

You answered and instantaneously the force hit you again. However, this time you could feel it penetrating deep inside your mind. Trying to break down your barriers. What was he searching for? The force collided with the sensation already there consuming you, fully breaking you. You gripped the entrance of the elevator, knowing you were surely going to faint. “Stop it!” You yelled out at him.  
Instantly you felt relief as he pulled out of your head. You let out a sharp breath and sucked in the air, feeling as though it had been knocked out of you. Your head spinning, you tried to regain your balance and let go of the door.

He tilted his head, examining you as you collected yourself. “Follow me.” The dark voice demanded. He walked past you exiting the elevator, and you realized the Knights of Ren had been behind him the entire time watching the scene, quietly.

You were in no position to talk back and knew it wasn’t a wise decision to even say what you were going to say, however, you did it anyway, “Commander Ren if you wouldn’t mind...” you said in a desperately weakened state, “I am not feeling well and I think it is vital I go to my quarters.”

He stopped dead in his tracks, and you felt it again. “Ahh...” you let out a cry loud enough to echo in the hallway. The harsh blow from before was there again inside your head fighting to get in. “Stop, please!” you cried out. You were aware Kylo Ren was powerful within the dark side of the force and this was a prime example of him exerting that power.

You couldn’t stand it any longer and you hit your knees again. You clenched your eyes shut and suppressed. You pushed against the feeling, every feeling. You just wanted it to stop!

Kylo Ren turned and extended his hand towards you lifting you to your feet. The force wrapped around your throat as a snake wraps around its prey, edging it closer to death. Calmly he spoke to you, however, this time the voice echoed within your mind, _“It was not a request. You will follow me.”_ He dropped his grip and you fell to the floor.

You gasped for air and coughed in between breaths. Kylo Ren started to walk once more. You slowly stood and found yourself not in a position to fight back. Your body struggled along behind them.  
As you walked through the Finalizer you observed how in sync the knights were with their leader, they followed him like entranced puppy dogs. There was always one watching Kylo while another kept watching for any threat. You couldn’t help but in case your self in your thoughts, _“who the fuck is going to actually try and attack this asshole?”_. You saw one of the knights turn their heads towards you slightly. Your eyes widened slightly, _“are you serious? Does this bitch boy actually think I am going to try and attack Kylo Ren?”_ You didn’t understand why he looked to you, as you were unarmed and obviously not in a state to attack anyone. You noticed his hand grip around his weapon. _“Try it.”_

As you followed suit behind them you weren’t even sure where you were going. It was a long walk to wherever it was. “Stay quiet and do not speak until you are spoken to.” The voice behind the mask barked out. You followed behind him and noticed that the knights, all but two, stayed outside. As you entered you instantly recognized you were on the Bridge.

As you walked through you noticed no one turned to meet your gaze, _“is everyone seriously afraid of this man?”_. The doors to a large office flew open and you followed Kylo Ren inside. It was now you, Kylo Ren, and General Hux alone in what you assumed was General Hux’s office.

“Kylo, why have you brought this person into my office?” General Hux seemed genuinely annoyed by the presence of Kylo Ren, a shock considering everyone else emitted fear in his presence.

“This was the soldier attacked on Umbara. She is the one who put her unit at risk, and she must be held accountable.” Commander Ren’s voice was to the point and demanding.

General Hux looked you up and down and came around the desk to stand in front of you, “Hmm... Yes, but I thought we agreed to speak to the unit as a whole?”

“Why waste everyone’s time on one person’s mistakes?” Commander Ren answered.

General Hux pondered over Commander Ren’s statement. He was now directly in front of you. He took a deep inhale and scoffed, “Are you a coward or just incompetent, soldier?”

You looked at him with disgust, “I am neither. I can not explain what occurred, but I can assure you I place my responsibility to my unit at the top of my priorities.” You found the tension in your mind reduce as your anger radiated through your body.

General Hux laughed at you, “How can an “elite” soldier prioritize their unit when they are almost killed by a fucking untrained civilian!? How do you even allow yourself to be taken by surprise?” He looked at you mockingly.

You knew you could prove to him just how easy it was to be taken by surprise. It would only take a second for you to jump over him, wrap your arms around his throat, and snap his neck. The thought filled you with clarity.

Before General Hux began speaking you looked over at Commander Ren as if you could sense his gaze. “Answer me when I ask you a fucking question!” He stepped closer, “What is your name?” Before you could answer, Commander Ren spoke.

He said your name effortlessly and you were surprised at the sound. You shot your gaze to the floor as you felt the blood rush to your face.

General Hux huffed and turned his gaze towards Commander Ren, “Wasn’t aware she needed you to speak for her.” You laughed inside, _“maybe... just maybe General Hux isn’t all that bad after all...”_  
Commander Ren looked towards you, but you stayed looking at the floor.

Before walking towards Commander Ren, Hux looked you over once more, “Why did you leave your group? It is required and expected from you that you support your unit, so how can you support them fully if you actively leave them?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked up at General Hux, “I thought I heard something behind us, and I wanted to secure the area to ensure optimal safety. As I said before,” You looked up at General Hux, “my priority is to my –“.

He cut you off. “You thought you heard something?” General Hux sounded doubtful.

“Yes, I could feel something was off. I can’t really explain it, and I understand it doesn’t make much sense,” desperation fuelling your words. You could feel Commander Ren’s gaze intensify, “I didn’t abandon my unit. I just needed to make sure what I felt was not a threat. It was foggy and it was getting worse and I knew once the fog reached a certain point whatever I sensed would have the upper hand.”

General Hux stared at you with an expression of confusion, “What is it you want me to do with her?” he rolled his eyes and went back to standing behind his desk, “She really isn’t worth it. She seems incompetent. She says she didn’t leave her group, but we know she did, that’s how she almost fucking died.” He huffed. “Perhaps the real lesson would have been learned if you did die. That would be a sure way to teach others not to leave their unit. You are a part of an elite force of soldiers who are trained rigorously. It seems your performance has even suffered for some time now.”

Rage traveled down your spine into your hands... You clenched your fists tightly. “Fuck you!” You spat. “I would never abandon my unit! I am telling you the truth. You’re just fucking blind and think everyone on this God-forsaken ship is expendable!” You were shaking now, but you noticed that the tension in your head was barely there.

General Hux whipped his head around and stared at you. “How dare you! I am the general on this ship and I will get the respect I deserve from you. And you will either give it over willingly or I will force it out of you.” A grimace crossed his lips.

You clenched your jaw, for fear that you might dig yourself into a deeper hole. General Hux approached you once more. This time he was standing so close you could almost feel his breath on your skin. His voice eerily calm and vile, “You are expendable. I can replace you at any time, and I fear no one on this ship.”

Your eyes shot to Commander Ren and back to General Hux. “You will do well to learn how low you are in my eyes because I get what I want from my crew.” He took his hand and lifted your chin you knew what he was looking at. “*tsk-tsk*... a job half-finished.”

You don’t know how but it happened... You watched as General Hux coughed struggling to breathe. You kept your mindset on choking him. You wanted him to feel the fear of dying, how it felt to feel your life force drain and you had no control over it. You kept your gaze intact and pressed deeper into the thought.

Suddenly you felt an invasive force within your mind, you tried to ignore it and kept your stare directed at General Hux. As he started grasping at his throat, you felt your head becoming numb and a pain radiated within your mind. You couldn’t hold your focus any longer. You looked directly at Commander Ren’s mask. You felt yourself losing control. _“Get out of my fucking head!”_. You knew he was in there taking control of your actions and thoughts making you go numb.

General Hux gasped for breath as your attention shifted away from him and onto to pushing Commander Ren out. But you couldn’t you weren’t fully aware of how any of this was truly happening, he was too powerful too skilled. You tried fighting him off until you couldn’t anymore. He completely took over and you felt exposed, your gaze dropped, and you grabbed the arm of the chair beside you.  
General Hux straightened up, cleared his throat, and before you knew it you felt a firm hand whip across your face. Tears swelled in your eyes and you could feel yourself breaking. There was a tense sensation in the air, and Commander Ren stepped forward and stopped as though needing to suppress an urge.

Blood filled your mouth and all you could do was stand there. You were exhausted, there was no fight left in you. You looked up and waited for something to happen, you just wanted out.  
“I will see to it she goes through retraining. And then she will be put up for evaluation once more.” Commander Ren spoke thru his mask, breaking the tense silence.

General Hux filled with rage, scoffed and spat at you, “Get her out of here, she can fall over dead in this very room for all I care. I don’t value weak people and I will not have weakness within any of my units.”

Commander Ren turned and started walking out and you took that as your cue to leave as well. After you exited the main deck you were alone with Commander Ren and his knights in the hallway. Your cheek no longer stung, however, your head felt completely numb and overworked.

He finally turned to you and through the mask, a dark voice spoke, “You will be ready by six in the morning. Ushar will be waiting outside your door to guide you to the training grounds.”

“Wait what?” You stood there shocked and hated the thought of having to go to Kylo Ren for training. For all you cared you wanted nothing to do with either him or General Hux any longer. “You are training me?” You didn’t understand why he would when there were people designated to do this specific job.

No answer. The knights and Commander Ren left without a word and you stood there dazed.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

You reached your room finally and kicked off your shoes. You crawled into bed and rested your head on the tough pillow. As you gave into relaxation your head began to ache from the cooldown of the emotions experienced throughout the day.

You couldn’t help but worry about the intensity of today’s events. Normally suppressing keeps the tension at bay, but today it overcame you. “What in the hell is happening to me? What if I can no longer control myself? How can I go back in the field if I can’t suppress these urges?” These thoughts flooded your mind for a while until you finally gave into sleep.

It cradled you and nurtured your mind... However, your dreams exposed something inside. Something you tried to push off earlier today. You couldn’t see him, but you heard him. Over and over saying your name.

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it: the first chapter... How does it feel? Are we interested in what lies within our MC? Are we excited to see what sort of training Kylo Ren has in store?
> 
> I want this to be a slow burn, but honestly, I am so excited to skip ahead already. I will restrain though.. 
> 
> I am still new to this and am working on my writing style. However, I truly hope it has captured some of your attention. <3


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